


Need To Feel Loved

by the_reaper666



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Adam Warlock is a jerk, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, M/M, Misunderstandings, POV Bucky Barnes, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Sam Wilson is So Done, Soul Stone (Marvel), Soul Stone is a world, T'Challa (Marvel) Is a Good Bro, Winter Soldier is also a jerk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 22:32:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16049900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_reaper666/pseuds/the_reaper666
Summary: Bucky wakes up in a strange place. The last thing he remembers was fighting Thanos. They lost.But there is a chance for him to go back home. If only it's not a pure bullshit and he can match the conditions...I'm in love, in loveCome hold me babe, I need to feel love





	Need To Feel Loved

  
  
  


_Steve?_

He woke up screaming. 

He was in a room he couldn’t recognize. A pale light was coming past half curtained window, so half of the room was covered in darkness. It was oddly peaceful. He sighed, running a hand through his hair and looked around. He noticed a small table at middle of the room, old wooden wardrobe standing alone in the corner and a single chair that had his jacket hanging on it. There was a pleasant scent of flowers in the air. How did he get here? He closed his eyes trying to recall the last moments before he woke up here. He remembered being in Wakanda and fighting aliens... They were doing quite well until Thanos appeared… Then everything went down to shit. They’ve lost that battle, right? He couldn’t remember that, but it was a highly possible option. _Fuck._

He got up from the bed and staggered, he felt dizzy. There was no pain, but he felt weirdly weakened. He grunted unsatisfied, grabbed his jacket and walked wobbly towards the door. The next second he found himself at the end of the very long and dark corridor. His chest tightened and he felt uneasy. Such places brought back very unpleasant memories he tried to forget. Times spent in Hydra. Those memories belonged to Winter Soldier, but he had full access to them – at least, that’s what he thought. He took a deep breath and made first step forward. At the end of the corridor there were stairs leading down, that meant he was above the ground floor… He could hear familiar voices from the bottom and it calmed his nerves. 

Kitchen was on the ground floor, a group of people were sitting at the long table. They were discussing something, but when he came inside, conversation died and all pairs of eyes looked straight at him. Someone waved at him and he smiled crookedly at them. He had a strange feeling that something was wrong. He recognized few faces, they were either Steve’s friends or ones he saw fighting for Wakanda. In fact, there were also people he never seen before. _Who the hell are they?_ A strange man sat on the edge of the table, on a platform like a King. His skin was pure gold and his eyes were devoid of the pupils and irises, they were all white. Or maybe those were pupils? Blond hair fell on his face. Bucky thought he looked like a dick and probably was one. 

"The lost sheep finally joined our pack," the guy laughed softly, cocking his head to the side. "And here I thought you fell asleep like a Disney Princess and requires a Prince to wake you up with a kiss." 

"Where’s Steve?" he asked instantly, unable to find his friend’s stupid face. Nobody said anything, and golden man laughed again. " **Where. Is. He?!** " 

"There, there. Calm down. Steven Rogers, right? He lives…" he sighed theatrically, leaning against the table top. "...unlike you and people gathered here." 

"What...?!" 

"James, sit down. Since we are in a set, I can finally explain everything." 

Bucky took the only place at the table, next to Sam Wilson, whom he gave a frightened and uncertain look. They were dead? Everyone was dead here?! What's going on?! 

"Who the hell are you?! Answer me!" 

"Hey, chill," T’Challa whisper came from his other side. "He’ll explain." 

"My name is Adam Warlock. As I said before, everyone here… is _dead_ ," _Golden jerk_ smiled as he got up from his spot. "Thanos won the battle with you and killed half the universe." 

"Theoretically," a young boy interrupted. He was wearing a costume Bucky remembered very well. A year ago he fought this boy… he was on Stark's side. He used a spider web and moved like a spider. _Spiderboy._ "In practice, we are _here_ , which is... actually where? It doesn’t look like a heaven, not like I mind any of you but… We are _present_ , ie. we exist. Kinda. I think. Umm… we can’t be dead, can we?" 

"You’re cute and smart. Your Mentor must be proud of you," Golden Jerk whistled and sat with one buttock on the edge of the table. "Currently we're in the Void, within Soul Stone. I’ve created a building to protect you from the danger lurking outside. Don’t leave this place, your souls are still way too weak." 

"Void? The sun was shinin’ through the window in the room where I woke up," Bucky said sharply. 

"Ahh, the illusion. Through the window of your room you will see the place of your childhood. Brooklyn, right? I didn’t want to scare any of you, nor put you in danger. Not yet. Moreover, your windows are portals that allows you to view the world of the living in their present. So you have a view of Brooklyn, exactly what's happening right now. You can touch the frame, think about a person or a place and find yourself exactly where you want." 

"Fine. Theoretically, we're dead but we're here. I think I'm getting lost. Is there any way out?" Spiderboy asked, looking confused. "Don’t get me wrong, great place and all but we haven’t died. Even though we’re not alive. Kinda. We're in between, right? So, uh…" 

"Right now you’re within the Soul Stone," Golden Jerk repeated, smiling broadly. "This is a place between life and death. And you can get out of here, but Thanos must be defeated." 

"Excellent! Any other, easier option?" this time Sam spoke, crossing arms on his chest. 

"Outside, a bit away from us, is a Portal of Departure but I'm not sure how to use it. I never had to use it, mind you. You have to meet a certain criteria but I have to check it first and you have to gather strength. That would be all for now, you can return to your rooms. Don’t even try to leave this building. Ah, and Doctor Strange, stay with me a little longer please." 

Bucky stopped at the exit from the kitchen to overhear the conversation, but T'Challa grabbed his arm and pulled him away. Bucky tried to protest, but Wakandan King gave him a murderous look. 

"This conversation is not meant for our ears," he said, and dragged the ex-assassin with him. 

"Do ya’ really believe this bullshit?" he growled, breaking out of the King's grip but followed him nonetheless. 

"I don’t know what to believe. I intend to return to my room and check the portal he spoke of. The one in the window." 

"How do you know which is your room?" 

"Eh? There are symbols on the doors, easy to say which belongs to whom." 

"Oh…" 

  


Bucky couldn’t believe in what he just heard. He felt like all this was some sort of conspiration by HYDRA who began to cooperate with Thanos. If he really died, he wouldn’t be here… He would cease to exist, right? Stop thinking, be eaten by worms. Anything. They must have been kidnapped and brainwashed or... something. 

When he returned to his room, he sat on the edge of the bed and glanced uncertainly towards the curtained window. _A portal through which one can see reality..._ He didn’t really believe it, but nevertheless he went to the window and tore a dirty curtain from it. He was greeted by the midday on one of Brooklyn's streets. The sight was painfully familiar. He sighed, touching the window frame with his hand and closed his eyes. What would he want to see? _Steve?_ When he opened his eyes again, he saw the interior of a room. It was impeccably clean and simple. He frowned, not understanding what was happening when suddenly a blond man came into the room with a towel wrapped around his hips. _Fucking Christ, it’s Steve!_ Steve sat down and glanced toward the ceiling mumbling something under his breath. Bucky heard nothing, all the sound was lost somewhere in the abyss. Well, it's time to learn lip-reading… He watched Steve until he left and didn’t come back for a long while. Bored with waiting, Bucky fell asleep huddled on the bed. 

When he woke up, he found his room demolished. The chair had broken two legs, the table was overturned, mug was shattered into pieces and the bed sheets were torn. Lamp was knocked down over the floor, strangely not broken, so room wasn’t swallowed by darkness. For a moment, Bucky thought someone broke in here but one look at the window dispelled all doubts. There was a view on the void. Darkness brightened by the stars. Space, at the distance there was a small version of planet Earth. Bucky was already sure that his other half was looking for something. Winter Soldier tried to find something but couldn’t so he got mad. Typical. _What did you look for…? Or who…?_ His thoughts were interrupted by the knock at the door. 

"Come in," he said, collecting the shards of a mug from the floor. 

"Holy shit, what the fuck happened here?!" T'Challa stood in the doorway, giving Bucky a disoriented look. 

"Winter got mad, nothing special." 

"Excuse me. Who?" 

"Winter Soldier," Bucky muttered, glancing at his companion. 

"Triggers have been neutralized. That's what my sister said." 

"True. Nobody gonna take control over him anymore. However, this is my second, though unwanted, personality. He wakes up and make a fuss. He tried to see something through the portal, he failed so he got angry." 

"It doesn’t sound good…" 

"He’s not dangerous. At least Shuri thinks so. Sometimes I talk to him, he has a very poor vocabulary. Or just refuses to talk more with me. Other times he just takes control without my permission and well… things happens. I don’t remember much of it but it’s rare anyway." 

"He had contact with my sister?!" 

"She liked him. She thinks he’s cute." 

"So cute he trashed whole room. Apart from the fact that he’s a trained killer," T'Challa crouched next to him and helped to clean up this mess. He found a piece of paper with a message under the overturned table and gave it to the surprised Bucky. "I don't know russian." 

" _Portal broken. Can’t find **him.**_ " Bucky glanced toward the window which still showed Earth seen from space and frowned. "I need to talk to Warlock." 

"He'll be back in a few days… Well, _days_? Shit knows how time flows here." 

"Damn…" 

  


When Adam Warlock finally came back, Bucky was on the verge of a breakdown. Winter has been waking up more often and each time he left short messages. Once he wrote he was worried, next one he was scared. Then he started to blame Bucky he got them both easily killed. Finally, he got angry so much he demolished the room once again. At some point, Bucky began to hear Winter's voice in his head. At first, it wasn’t clear as if thick wall was blocking it but when it finally became normal it started to piss him off. 

_Do something._

Hearing this for the hundredth time this day, he stood up and totally pissed off went to the kitchen. He wanted to find T’Challa but instead he ran into Golden Jerk who sat together with a sorcerer. Bucky was sure everyone called him _Strange_ here. There was also a girl with tentacles on head. A… snail? They surely discussed something but when Bucky came in, they fell silent. Sometimes he felt like people were shit scared of him and what he can do with information he could accidentally hear. Well, whatever, right? 

"Adam, I have a problem," he began, ignoring their inquisitive glances and sat down at the table. "Is it possible the portal in my widow is broken?" 

"No," Golden Jerk replied after a moment's hesitation and raised his eyebrows up. 

"I’ve been tryin’ to find a certain person for a while but portal doesn’t show ‘em to me." 

"The person you are looking for may be dead," he replied, arms crossing. Seeing Bucky's terrified look, he sighed theatrically. "Who did you look for?" 

Bucky fell silent for a moment fighting his own mind. He moved his eyes from one person to another and back. Dead? It’s not possible. Three people who sat in front on him remained quiet, patiently waiting for his answer. Golden Jerk smiled nastily, giving him a defiant look. He knew exactly who Bucky... or rather Winter Soldier, was looking for. 

"Tony Stark," Bucky whispered, biting his lower lip. 

"Stark? Why did you look for Stark?" Strange asked, frowning. He didn’t look happy. 

When Bucky was silent for a longer while, trying to think of some reasonable lie, Golden Jerk laughed and gave him a mocking smile. He immediately asked the same question as the sorcerer. "Why did you look for Stark?" 

"That's none of your business," Bucky growled, jumped up from his seat and grabbed the golden man by his rags, pulling him up. He could feel Winter is slowly taking over. "Answer me! Is he dead?!" 

"Stark is alive," Strange interrupted, trying to pull Bucky away from Warlock, but this made him only tighten his grip on the other man. "Thanos promised to spare him." 

"Your desperation is adorable. So you care _that_ much, then?" Golden Jerk knew he was pissing off Bucky to the point he could face his twin in any moment. "It's like our friend said here. Stark is alive." 

"Why I can’t see him in the portal...?!" 

"Patience. He's returning on Earth from Titan." 

"From what…?" 

"There is a possibility of bringing you back to life," Adam changed the subject, completely ignoring Bucky's question. 

Bucky immediately released Adam and stepped back two steps. Did he hear well? So they found out the way to use a strange portal that was mentioned earlier? He must have looked weird, because Golden Jerk laughed merrily and Strange sighed. 

"It’s not that easy. There are requirements," he said, leaning on the table. "Only a person who loves someone from the world of the living will be able to go through the portal. Love is the key. It’s also worth to mention the person can’t share the same blood. Family." 

"There are four of you," Golden Jerk said. "I will need few days before I’ll be able to fully open the portal. I have a riddle for you. Try to find the four people that can go home. I know who they are, but I dare you to find them themselves… Let’s have a… little fun. Mantis can help you." 

And that's how Bucky met Mantis. 

  


Bucky felt like those few days lasted forever and day longer. Winter took over a few times, but he calmed down, and Bucky woke up to a view of someone's bedroom. He placed his bets this was Stark’s bedroom, who had returned home. Bed was so big it would fit three people if not more. The owner, however, was never to be found there. At least not when Bucky was in control. 

In the meantime, Mantis tried hard to find four people that could safely pass through the portal. She managed to find two. Peter Parker and Sam Wilson. She would consider T'Challa if not for the fact that he loved his sister. She also tried to look into Bucky’s feelings but Winter shooed her away. Two people were missing if Golden Jerk wasn’t just making fun of them, which also was highly possible. 

Bucky was with the others in the big living room when Adam entered the room together with Doctor Strange. 

"Time to go back to the world of the living! Have you found the chosen ones?" 

"Only two," T’Challa replied. "Unless my love for the sister will somehow make it work." 

"Well then, who did you find?" Warlock asked, raising his eyebrows up. 

"Peter Parker and Sam Wilson," Mantis answered cheerfully. 

Adam shook his head and clicked his tongue, saying they didn’t find the most interesting two. Then he gave them one more clue: four of the people were connected with love towards one of two people, which were Tony Stark and Steven Rogers. He told them to keep guessing who would fit. Several times he winked at Bucky and sent him a defiant smile. Nobody, however, knew who could match the given criteria and Bucky grew more and more annoyed. He wanted to walk over to Warlock and punch him, remove that stupid smile from his face. This guy knew way too much about them. It was suspicious and Bucky didn’t trust him. 

"How come you know so much about us?" Bucky finally asked, trying to hide his irritation. "Like you’re sittin' in our heads." 

"If you didn’t notice, you’re in Soul Stone. I’ve been connected to it since my birth. I know all your secrets but once you get out, you’ll be free. I will lose the connection with your souls." 

"Then if you’re so smart then show us the last two missing pieces so they can help defeat Thanos." T'Challa offered, rising from his seat. 

"Oh, they’re here. At least one of them. If you’re in such hurry why we don’t go straight to the portal and send you home?" 

"That easy?" Bucky asked dubiously. "What if the person **I** love, hates me?" 

"Oh, Bucky. Steve doesn’t hate you," Wanda said, smiling at him. She was silently listening to them all this time. 

"If I loved Steve, it would be so much easier," he muttered quietly, but loud enough for T’Challa to hear it. 

"Well. It becomes a bit complicated then," Golden Jerk said, coming up to him. "Your feelings must be strong enough to cover the other side's deficiencies. If you’re not sure how you feel then you’re out of the game. The portal will split your soul and you will die, this time for real. In this case, we will bring back to life only two people. 

Bucky sighed resignedly and followed Adam slowly, who already made his way to the portal. Everyone followed him, clearly interested but Bucky had mixed feelings. For the first time they could finally leave the building and check outsides. The way to the portal wasn’t long but the whole place left a lot to be desired. It was dark, with a view of the galaxy, and large boulders flew in the air. Weird purple mist covered the ground so Bucky could barely see his feet. Not to mention this place was dead silent. When they reached the _gates_ of the portal, T’Challa grabbed his forearm and pulled him away from the small crowd. Bucky frowned and gave him a questioning look. 

"Since when?" he asked, his eyes wide in shock. 

"Since when what?" 

"Adam said the four of you are connected with love towards either Stark or Rogers. And you mumbled it’s not Rogers in your case. I can add two to two." 

"Somehow shortly I’ve been pulled out of the cryo? Before? During the Civil War thingy? I dunno. It started from Winter. He watched Stark, stalked him on internet and social media. He fell for him first. He even wrote letters to the man, but thank God he never sent them. He would only cause problems to us. Somehow... he infected me with this. I don’t know how it happened. I killed his parents. This guy hates me… 

"I think you don’t give Stark enough credit. He’s not a bad guy. He knew you were brainwashed and it wasn’t your fault." 

"He tried to kill me." 

"You're first to talk, you tried to kill him as well. Self defence or not. He was angry and lost his shit. Look, you have a chance to get out of here and help him beat Thanos. You don’t have to tell him how you feel about him, you don’t have to tell this to anyone. You will do as you wish, but right now he needs help. Steve and rest are currently in Stark’s Tower." 

"You’re right… But... I want..." 

"But! When you get your opportunity to tell Stark how you feel, do it. I’ll be watching you," T’Challa smiled wildly, patting Bucky’s shoulder. "Good luck." 

Bucky thanked him silently and approached Golden Jerk who gave him a slightly confused look but then smiled, surprisingly – friendly. Spiderboy and Sam had already crossed the gates of the portal, but Adam didn’t close it as if he knew Bucky will decide to go through as well. He patted the soldier on the shoulder and without unnecessary remarks pointed at the portal, which shimmered with strange shades of purple and green. Bucky swallowed, he was nervous and full of doubts. He made the first, uncertain step and then it went easier. Once he crossed the gates of the portal, the world swirled around him. He was floating in air, falling down, he thought he is falling apart and felt sick. After a while, however, he ran out of air and began to choke. Was everything going according to plan? Was it supposed to look like this? It lasted few seconds, maybe minutes... maybe hours. He lost count. Soon after he also lost consciousness… 

  
  
  



End file.
